In addition to having resentment toward most people in the room, they feel unloved. The goal of the intervention letter is to engage that love and to own certain things that may have caused the substance user to harbor resentment. It does not have to be accurate that anybody did anything to cause the addict or alcoholic to blame those in the room for their problems. Gathering your thoughts and feelings in a letter will make it much easier to communicate important things on your mind.

• Preparing intervention letters before the intervention prevents family members from negatively reacting to their dysfunctional family role during the intervention.
• Use clear, tangible descriptions of the drug abuse your loved one serves to open your mind to the truth of your addiction.
• We have tried both ways, and this approach is far more effective than confrontation.
• Regardless, we do our best to help families understand the process and ensure that their loved one struggling with addiction gets the help they need.

For those who will not write this section, we can collaborate on an intervention letter that will send a compelling message while avoiding confrontation. Most addicts and alcoholics believe an intervention is a blame-thrower event and how to write a goodbye letter to addiction are often on the defense when they see they have just walked into an intervention. When the addict or alcoholic starts to hear affirmation and love, it lowers their stress level and the tension of the intervention participants.

Connection with the Addict or Alcoholic

Preparing intervention letters before the intervention prevents family members from negatively reacting to their dysfunctional family role during the intervention. Unfortunately, many interventionists have tried to reinvent the wheel on what an intervention letter should consist of. Many still believe in reminding the addict or alcoholic of their mistakes.

You always came through and I could count on you to make me forget. But, then instead of giving, you started taking and taking. But when it’s applied to all marriages, it can have devastating https://ecosoberhouse.com/ effects. This week, I am posting three letters from victims of addiction. Each one provides a different perspective on this marital problem that is very difficult to solve.

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You can detach and still tell them how much you care for them and how much friends and family love them. At the same time, you do not have to set yourself on fire to keep warm. It is important to remember a family can still love the addict or alcoholic and equally love themselves simultaneously. Most of the time, the addict and alcoholic believe most of the people in the room of the intervention are the cause of their pain and struggles. When those same people, who the abuser blames for their problems, pile on more “look what you did comments,” how do you think that will go?

I have put that concept into what I call the Policy of Joint Agreement . If your husband would have followed that basic rule throughout your marriage, he would never have become addicted because you would not have enthusiastically agreed to it. The first time he came home drunk would have been his last. Wives of alcoholics usually know about their husbands’ sexually abusive behavior toward their daughters and offer themselves as “bait” to prevent their abuse. The pain suffered by these women in the privacy of their bedrooms, during these frightening sexual encounters, is extraordinary. Every day, I have unfulfilled wants that are not centered on anyone else.

What to Do with an Alcoholic Spouse

The Co-dependency movement rightfully acknowledges that emotional needs cannot be consistently met by an alcoholic spouse, nor can someone meet an alcoholic’s needs. It’s also hopeless to try to “fix” alcoholic spouses. They either fix themselves, or they don’t get fixed.

Attend Al-Anon meetings regularly, read the literature and keep in touch with Al-Anon members. They’re the people who can help you see the whole situation clearly. Jan 28, 2022 Drug Intervention Drug Abuse Intervention – Is the Drug of Choice Relevant? The short answer is yes–and for reasons you may not realize. Knowing what the substance user is abusing ahead of time helps the intervention team understand some crucial things.

Say how much you care

THIS WEBSITE DOES NOT PROVIDE MEDICAL ADVICE. The information contained on this website is not intended to be a substitute for, or to be relied upon as, medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. I see your struggles with being in recovery, with more pain than joy. It’s a time in your life where the scales are not balanced. You are working so hard to survive but everyone is saying no. I have no doubt from observing you that you hated every day you used substances. I can see how your life was out of control, spiraling into a pit of hurt and despair.

At least 2 days after their stay in the EU, we sent a letter to 181 patients of an experimental group suggesting they make an appointment with a physician specializing in alcoholism. No letter was sent to 181 patients in a control group . Six months later, 21 patients (11.2%) of group E had called the outpatient alcoholism treatment clinic to make an appointment and came to a consultation. Two of the 181 patients of group C came to the consultation. The effectiveness of this method for referring alcoholics to a clinic had been controlled by another prospective study.